Sunday, 22 January 2012

The Problem is not with life, it's with US

by Dov (See all authors)

They say that our addiction is just a symptom of our problem, not the problem itself - it just happens to be the "problem" that gets us into treatment for our real problem, which is that life itself is unbearable to us. In recovery we discover that the problem was not with "life", but with us. And thank Goodness for that! It's the greatest gift of the program, as far as I am concerned. At least "us" is something we can have some control over, unlike the outcomes of "life". AA writes about this illusion of control thing. Lack of real faith and humility, coupled with character defects such as fear, pride, dejection (which is actually pride - we grandiosely expect things to go our way or that we should be nearly perfect tzaddikim), and/or other character defects that separate us from G-d and people were our destruction. Our insides make normal life unbearable. Some of us intuit that at an early age (hence the guys who describe compulsive masturbation and schmutz-interest at age 6 or so) while others perceive their desperate need for an escape from life at a later age. Some just commit suicide. Thankfully that's rare (though the wife of one friend of mine has told me she wishes her post-arrest husband had committed/would commit suicide).