Sunday, 11 December 2011

Our main issue is not just an "eye problem"

by Dov (See all authors)

Truth11 writes:

I take the subway in the city every day and it's soo hard not to let the eyes wander around. I try taking a sefer around with me, but let's just say - thank G-d I need glasses, b/c I usually just take them off, but other times I get lazy. Oy tough.

Dov Replies:

You are in the subway and having a hard time with the eyes. I understand - was on the subway in NY a bunch of weeks ago and had the same problem. One essential thing for me to remember is this: Thank G-d the problem on the subway (or anywhere) is not really the stuff that's there to see. It's lust. My lust.


Now, as all of us know, seeing schmutz isn't good for us, and intentionally looking at pritzus will trigger a powerful lust reaction in us - but if we are not doing what we need to, to be free of lust and attached to reality (Hashem's Will for us), then even women who are dressed b'tziyus will be an insurmountable problem for us and lead to rotting on the inside and eventually lead us right back to the porn and masturbation.


So we need to ask ourselves, what do I really want? To "just be able to get to work and back without going crazy"... is that all? Is that really the only thing that needs to go for your life to be manageable? Surely that attitude is why we always stayed in that nasty loop of "falling" for years... We kept reacting to the immediate issue so we'd never have to admit that we had a broad, basic problem that requires broad, basic change.


So, if a guy here says that custody of his eyes doesn't matter to him, I'd say he's a fool. But I pity the cyclical fallers who look at their main issue as an eye-problem. And to them I wish a hearty good-luck!


You don't sound like a purely eye-problem kind of guy, but felt like you'd appreciate this thought anyway. Hatzlocha!!