Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Don't Count Your Days Like Sheep

Someone wrote on the forum:

Today was a record breaking day for me! My previous longest streak was 26 days and today my new streak became 27 days and counting. All I can say is Baruch Hashem for this site and this forum. Before discovering my clean streaks were consistently one week, maybe 10 days if I was lucky. For years I never had streaks longer than 3 weeks except when I went away to camp for the summer. But now with I feel like a whole and honest person again.


Dov Replies:

Perhaps this is not a chidush to you at all, but please consider paying attention to Today, not tomorrow, and certainly not yesterday. Before you know it, weeks will go by (cuz that's how time is, you know, when you don't watch it all the time), years will go by, and you will look back on a beautiful decade. Eventually, you will be surprised to discover that your entire life was super duper. Let the load of "staying clean" for another week - or even for the rest of today - off of your tired shoulders, will you? Let your success be a total surprise to you! Don't count your days like sheep that you are herding and managing. We can't really run our lives, anyway, so certainly our staying clean needs a lot of siyata dishmaya (help from Him). As the Chofetz Chayim writes about Lashon Hara, we need to pray for His help before the day starts and thank him for keeping us LH-free after the day ends. Asking Him for the help means giving Him the credit. Giving Him the credit for making it happen means taking most of the burden off ourselves! This may not fit exactly into your concept of how the Yetzer Hara works and how Hashem helps us, but I just remember: My methods and thinking till now, got me to this point - a mess. I may need a slightly different approach in order to succeed at being a successful ben Torah. As it turns out, all I need to do is give up the first stupid compulsion I get today, and ask Him for the help to bear that, even if it hurts, till it's over. And sometimes it may hurt horribly. Nu. So we can call each other and commiserate! That is what friends are for!


Two Sayings from Dov:

Anybody else is better than me, for seeing the lies I tell myself.

Humility is more precious to an addict than the knowledge of any Truth.