Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Don't Argue

by Dov (See all authors)

Someone wrote on the forum:

It's been 12 days and I don't even have a desire to sin.

I just decided to stop arguing with people, including my wife, my family, my friends.

If someone disagrees, I smile and stay silent. If I get criticized, I smile, stay silent, and thank Hashem for the beautiful, wonderful, instant Kappara (atonement). For if someone insults you, and you don't respond, all of your sins are forgiven.

Why? Because, you had every right to defend yourself, but you chose to forgo your rights. So too, Midah Kineged Midah, Hashem has every right to punish you for your sins, but Hashem will "follow your example" (kaveyachol) and forgo His rights.

Just get passed the need to control everything, be happy always, and Hashem will make miracles for you!

(For an amazing piece on how this is an atonement, see here from Rav Avraham Galanti - as quoted in the Beis Ahron of Karlin).

Dov responds:

I have no idea whether this will interest you, but you may like to read a selection in the back of "Alcoholics Anonymous" in the Member Stories", called "Dr., Alcoholic, Addict" (in the 4th edition it may be renamed, "Dr., Heal Thyself!"), as it hits on this man's experience with exactly how not arguing with people and with G-d is an indispensable part of his ongoing recovery. He even describes it as part of the recovery itself.

Hatzlocha and thanks so much for what you posted!